Overcoming Unhealthy Goal Habits: A Path to Joy and Fulfillment
Welcome to the first solo episode. I’m Alecia St. Germain, founder of Conscious Edge, and this podcast is all about the 4 most common unhealthy goal habits that can trip you up. They can also be detrimental to your joy, fulfillment, and overall well-being.
I’m drawing from my personal journey and experiences that have come up with my coaching clients over the last 20 years. This is practical advice that has helped me and I‘m confident it’ll support you to become more comfortable and effective with goal-setting and goal-achievement.
Unhealthy Goal Habits and Why it Matters
In my early days in coaching, I often set goals based on what others wanted, or what I thought would make them happy. I wanted to see myself as a successful coach like many of my business peers. This led to a cycle of overwork, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy and all at the expense of my body and the people I love. That’s why it’s so important to set goals that are aligned with your personal values and non-negotiables, rather than striving to meet others’ standards.
Four Unhealthy Goal Habits That May Be Stopping You
These goal habits often plague high-achievers. You may recognize one or more, which is why I also want you to know where to start changing to other strategies that will better support you.
- Achieving Goals at All Costs:
In this habit, your motto is “hit the goal or die trying,” and involves sacrificing personal needs and relationships to achieve business goals. This is the fastest path to burnout and sucks the f joy right out of life. We’ll talk more about root causes in next week’s episode, but the underlying feeling of this habit is needing to do more or not having enough.
What to do instead: Create goals keeping your non-negotiables in mind so it’s not either/or, it’s both/and. Ask yourself, “What do I need to hit my goals, while still keeping what’s most precious to me intact?”
- Setting Goals Based on External Expectations
Many set goals to please others or prove their worth, which can lead to self-sabotage like perfectionism and procrastination. You may not even notice you’re doing this, until you realize that what matters to you may not always be what matters to others. If you aren’t clearly communicating your personal vision and non-negotiables, a well-intentioned coach may encourage you to reach for things and perform in a way that does not align with what’s important for you.
What to do instead: Recognize why you are procrastinating. Imagine yourself doing that thing you’ve been procrastinating. What’s the fear that pops up for you? What would make you feel safe without the overwhelm of being perfect? How can you start there?
- Resisting Goal Setting Completely
Have you heard the saying; never try, never fail? After experiencing burnout or failure some people decide to avoid setting goals to escape potential disappointment and discomfort. They begin resisting the very things that will help them move forward to avoid discomfort. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Love, you can’t go around, over, or under…the only way is through!
What to do instead: Take an internal assessment and ask yourself, “What am I making not hitting these goals mean about myself?” Practice letting goals be a direction and information about what’s working and what’s not without attaching your personal value to the outcomes.
- Pivoting When Goals Get Hard
Too often people choose to change direction when faced with challenges, many times unknowingly to avoid negative feelings. This comes from a failure to build resilience and comes at the cost of financial stability. People can get stuck taking courses, looking for new certifications trying to find the magic answer so they can avoid negative feelings.
What to do instead: When negative emotions show up, recognize them and find out what they are trying to tell you. Instead of pivoting, dive in and see what’s underneath the discomfort. Practice seeing things through to completion, gather data, and then assess if a pivot is needed.
Transforming Your Approach to Goals
Aligning goals with your true vision and non-negotiables is how you can avoid burnout and embrace joy. Instead, how can you shift your focus on learning and growth as part of your process? By understanding the underlying fears and motivations, you can set healthier, more sustainable goals.
I’d love to know what resonated with you. What type of challenges do you have around goals and goal-setting? What would you like to do differently?
Be sure to check out episode 6 when it’s published to dive more into the root cause of unhealthy goal habits.
Sending you love and be well!
Connect with Us:
- If you have ideas for topics you’d like us to cover, please email them to hello@consciousedge.com.
- Follow Alecia on Instagram for Bits of Joyful Inspiration
- Connect with Alecia on LinkedIn
- Connect with Jonathan on LinkedIn
- Check out Jonathan Wellness Advocacy
- Disclaimer
