Podcast Cover for Episode 122 Alecia St. Germain speaking at InvestHer Con on how to stop overthinking

How to Stop Overthinking Decisions in Your Business

October 13, 2026

To stop overthinking, change the question from "What will people think of me?" to "Who needs me to show up right now?" Then sort everything on your plate into five categories (lead, delegate, outsource, grow, release) and protect the sleep, movement, and connection that keep your mind clear. Hesitation compounds, and a tired mind is difficult to manage.

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You’ve had the email written for three days. It’s still sitting in your drafts. Maybe it’s the follow-up with someone you met at an event, the offer you keep meaning to make, or the call you swear you’ll make tomorrow. Every time you open it, a voice starts up. Who do you think you are? What if they say no?

So you start overthinking it and trying to get it just right. It ends up taking so much more time than it should.

If you’re trying to stop overthinking, here’s what I want you to know. You feel like you never have enough time, but it’s actually a challenge with your capacity. And hesitation never costs you just one thing. It compounds into missed opportunities, drained energy, lost confidence, and less presence for what matters most.

This episode is a talk I gave on the InvestHer Con stage in Phoenix. I share the phone call that changed how I show up, and the Leadership Rhythm I use to move from overthinking to action: Focus Out, Focus On, and Focus In. You’ll also get five categories for sorting everything on your plate, so you know what’s yours to carry and what isn’t.

In this episode on how to stop overthinking, you’ll discover:

Why hesitation never costs you just one thing, and how it compounds
The difference between real threats and perceived threats like judgment, rejection, and imposter syndrome
Why imposter syndrome doesn’t go away as you grow, and what to build instead
The Leadership Rhythm: Focus Out, Focus On, and Focus In
Five categories for everything on your plate: lead, delegate, outsource, grow, and release
Why cheap help can’t deliver a result you can’t create yourself (and the same goes for AI)
Why taking care of yourself is the first thing you cancel, and the one thing no one can do for you
The one question that helps you stop overthinking and start showing up

How do I stop overthinking decisions in my business?

Start by changing the question you’re asking. Overthinking usually runs on one question: what will people think of me? That question keeps you calculating risk, polishing, and waiting until it feels safe. Try a different one. Who needs me to show up right now? Every business exists to serve people, and you can’t think about them and worry about yourself at the same time. When your attention goes to the people you serve, your mission starts to outweigh your fear. It also helps to name what the hesitation is costing you. It’s rarely one thing. Overthinking compounds into missed opportunities, drained energy, lost momentum, and less presence with the people you love. Then look at your capacity. A tired, overloaded mind hesitates more because it can’t reach clear judgment. Clear your plate and rest your body, and decisions get faster.

How do I decide what to delegate, outsource, or keep doing myself?

Sort every task, responsibility, and idea into one of five categories. Lead is what you’re skilled at, love doing, or are the only one who can do. That’s yours to own. Delegate is work you’re effective at, but it isn’t the best use of your time, or you can’t stand doing it. Hand it to your team and lead them through it. Outsource is work you’re not effective at and that would cost too much time or money to grow into. Hire an expert who becomes responsible for the result. Grow is a skill you don’t have yet but need for where you’re going. Give yourself room to practice with grace. Release is anything that comes off your plate, either for good or parked for now. If you keep hitting the same plateau, look at your Grow list. That’s often where your capacity is capped.

Why does delegating or outsourcing keep failing for me?

When delegating or outsourcing doesn’t work, it usually comes down to one of two things. The first is a mismatch between the person’s skill level and what you expect from them. The second is a lack of vetting before you bring them on. Here’s the loving hard truth. You can’t hire cheap help to create a result you can’t create yourself, because you won’t know how to lead that person. If you know how to do the work, delegate it and coach them through it. If you don’t, outsource it to someone who already has the skill and will own the result, and be willing to pay for that skill. The same goes for AI. It pulls from common knowledge, and it can hand you advice that sounds right and isn’t. Don’t spend hours training it to do work you can’t judge yourself.

Does imposter syndrome ever go away?

In my experience, no. I’ve sat at tables with leaders managing multi-million-dollar portfolios who still worry they’re unworthy, unqualified, and one decision away from being found out as a fraud. The portfolio gets bigger, and the worry comes along. That can sound discouraging, but it’s freeing once you see it. If more success doesn’t make imposter syndrome go away, you don’t have to wait for it to leave before you act. What you can do is build the capacity to manage your mind, so the voice is there but it doesn’t run the show. It helps to know what imposter syndrome is doing. It’s your mind trying to keep you safe from judgment and rejection. Those feel like real threats, even though they’re perceived ones. Seeing that difference gives you room to choose your next move.

Why is taking care of myself the first thing I cancel when I get busy?

Taking care of yourself is usually the first thing to go. Sleep, movement, time with the people you love, and everything that fills your cup get pushed aside. It’s the one place where you don’t have to inconvenience anyone or ask permission, so it feels like the easiest place to borrow from. It’s also the one thing you can’t outsource. No one else can sleep for you or move your body for you. Here’s why it matters for your business. You can talk yourself into almost anything, but you can’t mindset your way past exhaustion. When you’re worn out, your protective patterns get louder, you lose access to good judgment, and you jump into things you normally wouldn’t. Protecting your rest protects your decisions.

The phone call that changed how I show up

It was a Thursday in early May 2020, just after lunch, when my phone rang. It was my best friend, Annemarie. I’ve known her since we were six. She’s family. It wasn’t a normal time for her to call, so I skipped the niceties. “Are you okay?”

She wasn’t. She had just come back from the gynecologist. She had stage four cervical cancer.

If you’ve ever taken a call like that, you know how fast your mind spins. I asked her what the plan was. She said, “I’m going to fight it.”

Everything in me wanted to get in the car, drive two hours north to Cleveland, and fix it. I couldn’t. We were in the middle of the pandemic, my husband was a first responder, and I couldn’t risk bringing anything to her.

So I did the only thing I could think of. If she was going all in on her healing, I would bring that same all-in energy to everything I did. I went all in on my business, and I served the people it serves like their lives depended on it.

Here’s what I learned. When someone you love is fighting for their life, you stop worrying about what other people think of you. You stop overthinking. You stop procrastinating and trying to get it perfect. You show up.

What hesitation is costing you

Take a second and ask yourself what hesitation is costing you. Is it opportunity and money left on the table? Time and energy spent overthinking? Confidence and momentum lost to playing it safe? Fulfillment and presence for what matters most?

When I asked a room full of business owners, the answers split almost evenly. That tells me hesitation doesn’t cost you one thing. It compounds.

Real threats and perceived threats

Annemarie’s diagnosis was a real threat. So is a natural disaster that levels your home, or a market that crashes overnight. Real threats can wipe you out. They deserve every feeling you feel and all the attention you give them.

Most of what stops us is something else. Perceived threats.

The first one is judgment. When I asked the room what judgment sounds like in their heads, the answers came fast. Who do you think you are? I’m not good enough. I should know better. You don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t have enough money for that. Sound familiar?

The second is rejection. Think about the email you didn’t send, the call you didn’t make, or the room you didn’t walk into, all because of one word: no. When I asked what that cost people, they named self-trust, connections, confidence, and self-respect. That last one stings. Every time you don’t follow through for yourself, you send yourself a message that you can’t depend on you.

The third is imposter syndrome. Let me tell you something about it. It never goes away. I’ve sat at tables with leaders managing multi-million-dollar portfolios who still worry they’re one decision away from being found out as a fraud. The portfolio grows. The worry stays. What you can grow is your capacity to manage your mind, so imposter syndrome doesn’t run the show.

Why your mind treats judgment like a bear

Here’s what’s happening underneath. Your mind doesn’t always know the difference between a perceived threat and a real one. In the Immunity to Change® method, developed by Harvard faculty Dr. Robert Kegan and Dr. Lisa Lahey, this protective system is called the psychological immune system.

Here’s how I explain it. You’re loading new programs onto an outdated operating system. You say you want to send the email and make the offer, and you mean it. Underneath, you may have a hidden competing commitment, like never being seen as someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. That’s one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.

Driving both is a big assumption. That’s a rule your unconscious made up about how the world works and how you exist in it, designed to keep you safe. It might sound like, “If people see me make a mistake, they’ll stop trusting me.” Your system isn’t broken. It’s doing its job perfectly. As a Certified Immunity to Change® Coach, I help clients see that assumption clearly, then run small, safe tests that show when it applies and when it doesn’t.

“Every time you don’t follow through for yourself, you are sending yourself a message: I can’t depend on you.”

The Leadership Rhythm

So how do you stop overthinking when your mind is doing exactly what it was built to do? I use the Leadership Rhythm. It has three parts.

Focus Out is who you serve. It gives you direction. Focus On is how you build. It creates momentum. Focus In is how you sustain it. It’s your restoration.

If you’re a doer, you’re probably great at Focus On. If someone on your team drops the ball, you’ll just do it yourself. The other two tend to slide. So let’s take them one at a time, starting with direction.

Focus Out: who needs you to show up

Time to let my petty human out for a minute. That’s what I call the catty version of me. You probably have one too.

You know someone who’s less knowledgeable and less experienced than you. Maybe you’ve even questioned whether what they do is ethical. And yet they’re doing more deals, raising more capital, and building more wealth than you are. You’ve had some feelings about it.

I see you. It’s frustrating. And that judgment is a perfect example of the voice we just talked about. It’s a very human thing to do, and it’s keeping you stuck. They’re just not afraid to get messy and make mistakes. While you protect yourself from the same judgment you just made of them, you’re protecting yourself from people who were never going to do business with you anyway.

Meanwhile, the people who need you are choosing someone else. They chose the person who was available. The more qualified, more experienced person who cared about them was at home overthinking it.

Your life matters to other people. When you get that, you stop calculating risk, and your mission to serve starts to outweigh your fear. So when you find yourself spinning, focus out. Think about the people you serve. It’s the fastest way I know to stop overthinking, because you can’t think about them and worry about yourself at the same time.

“When you stop thinking about what will people think of me, and you start thinking about who needs me to show up right now, you show up.”

Focus On: what belongs on your plate

Focus On is where most of us live. It’s also where the questions pile up. What’s my responsibility? What can I trust someone else to do? What can I let go of, when I could do it faster myself?

I sort everything on a plate into five categories: every task, every responsibility, and every new idea. My multi-passionate entrepreneurs, this one is for you.

Lead is what you’re skilled at, love doing, or are the only one who can do. This is where you shine. You own it.

Delegate is work you’re effective at, but it isn’t the best use of your time, or you hate doing it. It goes to your team, and you lead them through it.

Outsource is work you’re not effective at and that would cost too much time or money to grow into. This is expert work. You hire it out, and that person becomes responsible for the result.

Grow is what you’re not skilled at yet but where you’re going. This is your edge. Give yourself room to practice with grace. Perfectionists, I know this one is hard. Many of you want to emerge already perfect, so you keep putting Grow off. That’s why you keep hitting the same plateau. Mistakes are part of the process.

Release is what comes off your plate. Some things leave for good because they were never yours. Others just get parked. In a mentorship program I coach in, I tell members they can only start one new thing per quarter. They hate me for it, then love me for it later. Trying too many new things at once burns through your brain space. Mandy McAllister and I talked about what that brain space is worth in EP119: The Framework That Will Change How You Look at Every Income Stream.

When delegating and outsourcing go wrong

If you’ve been burned by delegating or outsourcing, you’re not alone. When it doesn’t work, it usually comes down to one of two things. The person’s skill level didn’t match what you expected. Or they weren’t vetted well.

Here’s a loving hard truth. You can’t hire cheap help to create a result you can’t create yourself, because you don’t know how to lead that person. If you know how to get the result, delegate it and coach. If you don’t, hire someone who does, and be willing to pay for the skill. I walk through these choices in EP109: Outsource, Delegate, or Do It Yourself? How to Get Your Time Back. Zen Jenn and I also dig into why cheap help so often costs you twice in EP121: When to Hire, and Why Cheap Help Often Costs You Twice.

The same goes for AI. AI pulls from common knowledge, including a lot of fluff and theory people have fed into it. More than once, someone has told me what their AI said to do, and it was the opposite of what I’d coach them to do. If you know how to create the result, AI can help. If you don’t, don’t spend hours training it. Hire someone who knows the work.

Why letting go feels unsafe

If you’re having a hard time taking something off your plate that isn’t yours, something in the background is making it feel unsafe. That’s a leadership piece, and it’s a capacity you can build.

Accountability is uncomfortable for a lot of us. You don’t want to tell someone they’re not doing their job. You don’t want to be the meanie. Or it just isn’t done your way. But if everything has to be done your way, the people around you have no room to grow or breathe. You’re suffocating them. We do it by accident, because we’re trying to stay safe. That’s the psychological immune system at work, and it’s exactly the kind of competing commitment I help clients map.

One client I worked with kept jumping in and taking over work that belonged to their team. If something wasn’t getting done fast enough, or the way they wanted it done, or they felt they hadn’t given someone enough lead time, they took it back. At the core of it was a fear. If they gave feedback or asked for something that might seem unreasonable, they would become just like the nightmare clients they used to work with.

That fear was their big assumption. Taking the work back kept them from ever becoming that person. It also kept them doing work that was never theirs to carry.

Focus In: the first thing you cancel

Focus In is sleep, movement, relationships, travel, and the joys of your life. It’s everything that fills your cup. And it’s the first thing doers throw out the window when things get busy.

Here’s why. It’s the one place you don’t have to inconvenience anyone. You don’t have to ask permission or feel like a burden. It’s easy to steal from yourself because it feels like the one thing you own. It’s also the one thing you can’t outsource. No one else can sleep for you or exercise for you.

I have my human, and I have my higher self. My higher self doesn’t love taking care of my human. She thinks my human is kind of a pain in the butt. While I was writing this talk, I realized I was two years overdue for my gynecology exam. I was writing a speech about my best friend’s cervical cancer, and I had canceled on myself. (I’m caught up now.) If that doesn’t show you how easy it is, I don’t know what will.

Borrowing from tomorrow’s health is like playing Russian roulette. If you don’t have your health, you can’t enjoy the wealth and freedom you’ve built.

“It’s really easy to steal from ourselves because it’s the one thing we think we own, and it is the one thing you cannot outsource.”

You can’t mindset your way past exhaustion

Most of us are good at mindset. We can talk ourselves into almost anything. Do it scared. We’ve got this. But you can mindset yourself right into exhaustion, and a tired mind is difficult to manage.

Your subconscious starts running circles around you, trying to protect you. It’s well intentioned and completely ruthless. That’s your psychological immune system running on an empty tank. You lose access to good judgment, and you jump into things you normally wouldn’t. Taking care of your body is one of the most important things you can do for your business.

Life is right now

When you live the Leadership Rhythm, you hesitate less. Focus Out gives you direction. Focus On gives you momentum. Focus In gives you restoration. With a clearer mind, you make faster decisions, and you start living like life is happening right now, because it is.

I know what it costs to skip this. Two weeks before my due date with my daughter, I was on all fours under one of my mobile homes, trying to keep my belly off the ground while I shut off the water pouring out from under the laundry room. Four other adults stood around watching. I delivered my daughter four days later. I can laugh about it now. But that was a capacity problem. I hadn’t built a business with the right people in place. The Capacity Decision Guide is what I wish I’d had before I became a mother.

So here’s my ask. Write down one thing you’ve been hesitating on. One conversation, one decision, one step toward your future self. Then take action on it today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today, because life is right now.

What Annemarie taught me

Annemarie fought hard, with all the grace, humor, and kindness she had, right up to the end. I did make that two-hour drive to see her. She passed away on January 5, 2021.

That same day, I was scheduled to coach in a mentoring program that contracts me for coaching services. I showed up for that group because it mattered to them.

Whether I grieved her passing right away or later changed nothing. But in that moment, I could make a difference for someone else.

As I sat next to her, I didn’t question whether I’d done it right. I didn’t wonder if I’d said everything or gotten the timing perfect. I knew I had shown up fully.

The last day I saw her, I asked her for one favor. “When you get to heaven, if you’re allowed to send me a message, can you let me know if God really looks like Morgan Freeman?” She laughed. She must not be allowed to send messages, because I still don’t know.

Annemarie is the reason I show up fully every day. I hope she’s the reason you do too.

Resources and Links Mentioned

- - - - Sort everything on your plate with the free Capacity Decision Guide: consciousedge.com/decision. If you heard this talk live at InvestHer Con, consciousedge.com/ic26 takes you to the same guide.
      - Instagram: @aleciastg. Send me a DM with the word “capacity,” and I’ll send you my favorite podcast episode on capacity.
      - LinkedIn: Alecia St. Germain. Let’s connect.

The next step is to book a complimentary call to see what's behind the hesitation in your own business. We'll look at where your time is going, what keeps landing back on your plate, and what makes letting go feel unsafe.

Book Your Call Here

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EP 109: Outsource, Delegate, or Do It Yourself? How to Get Your Time Back

EP 119: The Framework That Will Change How You Look at Every Income Stream

EP 121: When to Hire, and Why Cheap Help Often Costs You Twice

Full Transcript Here

Alecia St. Germain 00:00
Before we get started, did you know you can get behind-the-scenes access to these episodes before anyone else? Meet other listeners of this podcast and connect with show guests, my co-hosts, and me live in real time. All you have to do is become a member of Podcast Club. We record episodes in front of a live virtual studio audience. Then, after the episode is finished, we open a private, unrecorded conversation where you can share your thoughts, ask questions to go even deeper on the topic of the day, and even influence the content covered in future episodes. Here's the thing: I love podcasting, but I love having real conversations with real people more than broadcasting into the ether. Social media promised us connection. Now it's morphing into something else entirely-a distraction to keep you scrolling. Podcast Club is my way of reclaiming the space for connection. If this sounds like your kind of room, come join us. Go to consciousedge.com/club and become a member of Podcast Club. It's so easy how we dismiss the present moment as though tomorrow is guaranteed. We treat today as though it's scarce. We treat tomorrow as though it's abundant. But it's actually the opposite. The moment that you are guaranteed, the one that you have is the one you have right now. The one tomorrow we don't know, and that's the part that's scarce. So why are we putting off the things that are most important to us when we have the time right now? That's what we're going to get into today. Hey, you leader, entrepreneur, business owner, solopreneur, whatever you call yourself. We know you're a visionary business builder, wealth seeker, looking to combine a passion for doing good with leading consciously. It's time to shift from a traditional focus of pure wealth accumulation to one that integrates well-being and fulfillment. You're here for a purpose, and it's time to shine your light. So here we go. Welcome back to the Conscious Edge podcast. I'm your host Alecia Saint Germain, founder of the Conscious Edge. If you are brand new to the podcast, we put these out every single Tuesday, so make sure you hit follow or subscribe from wherever you are listening, so that you can be notified when the next episode comes out. I want to share with you today a talk that I did over the summer in Phoenix, Arizona, at the InvestorCon 2026, it gets into what hesitation costs us and some ways to look at what you want to be focusing on and whose job within your business it is, or whether it even belongs on your plate at all, and as you go through it, what I want you to understand is that you're getting a lot of strategy, and so it seems like if I just do this, it should be easy, and my business should work better. But underneath all of the strategy that you acquire, there is a foot on the gas, foot on the brake self protection, psychological self protection system. So it could look like I want to delegate some of the operations in my business. That's your foot on the gas, but your foot on the brake is if it doesn't get done right, my clients will be upset, and the big assumption underneath that is if I delegate it, it won't be done right, and then it'll blow back on me. And so, when you have that unconscious big assumption that becomes the fuel for your system of self protection, it makes it very hard to implement any strategy. That's where I come in as the immunity to change coach. This is a methodology that I'm certified in by Robert Keegan and Lisa Leahy out of Harvard, two Harvard professors, and it's based on their life's work, their years of research on why change is so hard. So, as you're listening to this talk, I want you to keep in mind that you may have tried all of the things that I talk about, or it may have felt too dangerous to implement them. You may even have some objections to it and think, well, yeah, but I can't afford to do what it's telling me to do. Again, all of those are beliefs where your safety is at risk, and so your brain wants to put on the brakes. So that's a lot of the work that we do.

Alecia St. Germain 04:59
At the conscious edge is helping entrepreneurs overcome that system of self protection that has them slamming on the brakes and keeps them from managing their time in a way or or spending their time in a way that you really mean to. So often we think we have a time problem, but what's actually happening is you're losing time to big assumptions. You're losing time to this system of self-protection that has you doing a lot of things that are not helpful. They seem helpful in the moment, you can justify them really well, but they're not. So as you're listening, if you're starting to wonder why is it I can't make these changes that I have the best intentions to do, that I have the willpower to do, that I know how to do, and yet I still find myself stopping. The next step would be to book a call with me, where we can go through your capacity assessment. We're going to look at all the places within your capacity that you are leaking energy, financial time spent in emotions, and not being flexible and adaptable, and and relational capacity, where your communication might be breaking down with your team or the other people in your life, that is causing it to be very difficult for you to drive to a certain set of results that you're trying to create with people. So we go through your assessment, and after that call, what I'll do is I'll lay out for you your options for working together, and then you get to loop in anybody that helps you make that decision. And then we get back together, answer any final questions that you have, and then you decide how you want to move forward. Whether you decide to move forward or not, you will come out of that call with clarity, and I think that's the most important thing that you realize is that this another strategy, another thing that you layer on top is not going to be the thing that breaks you free. It's working on the person, the leadership skills, what's underneath, and making sure that you have really solid business strategy, not just making money strategy, but are you making decisions based on your financials, based on the time that you have, based on what you want your life to look like? We try to follow other people's blueprints all the time, and it's not effective because doesn't necessarily take into account what your definition of success is, and so we want to build a customized plan for you, something that makes sense for what you want out of life. So, if you want to book that call with me, you go to consciousedge.com forward slash call, and you can get on my calendar. I have opened up my 2027 calendar. I have 24 spots to help clients. That's my capacity. That's the time that I can give to be really focused on each one of my clients. So, if you want one of those spots, get on my calendar sooner versus later, so that you can grab one of those spots that you want for 2027, you can start immediately, or we can pick a time that works for you. Any time between now and January one, you can secure that spot now for any time, any start time in between that time frame. So here is the talk. It is very special to me. It is probably the deepest parts of myself, and I'm really proud of how it came together. It was the highlight of my summer. I'm so excited to share it with you. This took place in Phoenix, Arizona, 2026, in the 113 degree heat. So enjoy, and I look forward to speaking with you. Thank you all so much for being here and not sneaking off to the pool like some of you contemplated. Listen, I put on Spanx, spray-on pantyhose, and high heels to be here, and it's 110 degrees outside. So if I can do hard things, you can do hard things. I want to take you back to a Thursday in early May 2020, it was just after lunch, and my phone rang. It was my best friend Anne Marie, and it was one of those things where it's not a normal time for someone to call. So immediately, I'm on like high alert. Skip the niceties. Are you? Okay, no. Actually, I'm not.

Alecia St. Germain 10:04
I just got back from the gynecologist, and I have stage four cervical cancer. Now, if you've ever taken a phone call like that, your mind goes into a tailspin. But I remember saying, "What's the plan? And she said, "I'm going to fight it. And I wanted to get in my car, and I wanted to drive two hours north to Cleveland, Ohio, and I wanted to be there, and I wanted to fix it. How many of you have ever felt helpless in situations like that? Yeah. And I couldn't. I couldn't because my husband was a first responder. It was the pandemic. We were right in the middle of quarantine, and I could not risk bringing anything to her. So I did the only thing I could think of. If she was going to be all in on her healing, I was going to bring all in energy to everything I did, and that's what I did. I went all in on my business, and I served the people that it serves like their life literally depended on it. And what I want you to understand is that when someone you love is fighting for their life, you stop worrying what other people think of you. You stop overthinking. You stop procrastinating. You stop worrying about getting it perfect, and you show up. When you stop thinking about what will people think of me, and you start thinking about who needs me to show up right now, you show up. Spanks or no spanks. For those of you who I have not yet met, my name is Alecia Saint Germain, and I started out in real estate at 18. I did my first wholesale deal, but it wasn't until I became a mother that I realized that I had not built a business that supported the life that I wanted to live. I was trying to be the best mother, the best wife, run the business, and I was so stretched. I was doing it all by myself. I was exhausted, and frankly, I was a little resentful. How many of you are familiar with that feeling of being? Yeah, right. That was not a time problem. It was a capacity problem. I used to have a go-to phrase: "I don't have time. How many of you have ever found yourself saying, "I don't have time, or "I don't have money to buy someone else's time" Yeah, it is robbing you because it's not a matter of time; it's a matter of capacity. We think it's a time problem; it's not. When you learn how to lead yourself well and lead others well, when you learn exactly what deserves your attention, that's the question: What really deserves my attention? And when you create a solid financial plan, that's when time begins to solve itself. So, I want to find out from you what is hesitation costing you. Now, I know it might be hard to choose from opportunity and money left on the table, time and energy spent overthinking, confidence and momentum, us playing it safe, fulfillment and presence for what matters most. But I made this poll so you could select all that apply, right? So we're about even. That tells you that hesitation does not cost you one thing; it compounds. Now I want to go back to Anne Marie's story for a minute. There are perceived threats, and there are real threats. Real threats are things like a cancer diagnosis, a natural disaster that levels your home, a stock market that crashes overnight, which incidentally is probably why you're here in real estate. Those are real threats. Those are things that can wipe you out, and they deserve the feelings that you feel, and the responses, and the attention that you give. But now I want to talk about, and if we can have the mics ready. I want to talk about perceived threats. So judgment. What judgment is in your head? What does judgment sound like in your head? I want you to get the mic here and call them out. What does judgment sound like for you? Thank you for being brave and going first, leader.

Sound Advice FM 15:22
Sure. Leaders go

Alecia St. Germain 15:24
first, FYI.

Speaker 1 15:27
Who do I think I am, or who does she think she is?

Alecia St. Germain 15:30
Who do you think you are? How many have that one? Yeah. What else we got? Don't be afraid to throw it. I know. I'm asking you to get vulnerable. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. How many of you not have a not enough conversation that goes in your head? It's not enough. It's not enough. Yeah. Only this side of the room. This side of the room is completely fine. Oh no

Speaker 2 15:54
no no no no! I'm

Alecia St. Germain 15:56
stepping

Speaker 3 15:57
up. I'm stepping up. I should just

Alecia St. Germain 16:01
blank. I should just blank. I should know better. Anybody? I should know better. Ah, I should have known better. We have. You don't know this topic, or you don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're doing. All right, last one over here.

Speaker 4 16:17
You don't have enough money for that.

Alecia St. Germain 16:19
You don't have enough money for that. Is this running in everybody's minds? Yep. Okay. Now let's talk about rejection. How many of you have not sent an email, made a phone call, or walked into a room because of one word? No. Now, next question: What did that cost you? Is anybody willing to share what that cost them? Right here. Self trust. Self trust. Yeah. Connections and resources. What is it? Connections and resources. An opportunity for more confidence. An opportunity for more confidence, self-respect, self-respect. Yeah, because every time you don't follow through for yourself, you are sending yourself a message: I can't depend on you. Hurts. Imposter syndrome. We were at a strive breakfast yesterday, and imposter syndrome came up several times. Let me tell you something about imposter syndrome. It never goes away. You're like, damn it! I have sat at tables with women who are managing multi-million-dollar portfolios. They are worried about being unworthy, unqualified, and one decision away from being found out as a fraud. It doesn't go away. The portfolio gets bigger. You still worry about being an impostor. It doesn't go away, but you can build the capacity to manage your mind, to manage it, so it doesn't run the show. So I'm here to talk to you about three things, and by the time we're done, you'll have a leadership rhythm that will allow you to show up fully in the world. How does that sound? Amazing. This is what I call the now advantage, and the now advantage is based on three things: focus out, focus on, focus in. Focus out is who you serve. Focus on is how you build, and focus in is how you sustain. Now, where are my doers in the room? Yeah, you get everything done. It's yeah, you're gonna take care of it. If somebody on your team drops the ball, you'll just do it yourself. You are so good at focus on, But sometimes these other things go by the wayside. So we're going to cover these one at a time. Now we start with focus out because this tells us who we serve. It's our direction. It's what we're doing. And what I want you to understand is that while you're worrying about what people think of you, there are people out there who are suffering because you're not showing up. Now let's be catty for just a second. Actually, I call her my petty human. She's the catty version of me. You probably have one too. So you're petty human. How many of you know someone? You've been around in real estate. You're networking. You're talking to people. Hopefully, not this doesn't happen here. But there's someone out there who is less knowledgeable, less experienced, and maybe you have even questioned. If what they do is really ethical, yet they are doing more deals, raising more capital, more capital, more capital, and building more wealth than you, and you've had some kind of feelings about it. Uh huh. Yeah, I get it. So, a, I see you. I know it is super frustrating, but b, if you're being really honest with yourself, you're judging them, and that is what is keeping you stuck. Because the truth is, they're just not afraid to get messy and make mistakes. And while you're trying to protect yourself from the judgment that you just made of them, you're not really protecting yourself from that judgment. You're protecting yourself from people who were never going to do business with you. I mean, be honest. Were you going to go do business with those people you just judged? No. Yeah, and the real people, the real people who need you, because ultimately every business exists to serve people. The people who really needed you. They chose to do business with someone because they were available, while the person who was more qualified, more experienced, and genuinely cared about their well-being was overthinking it at home instead of getting into the car and going to the networking event, or went to the pool, I said what I said. I want you to hear me. Your life matters to other people. Your life matters to other people when you truly understand that when you show up, see. When you show up, when you really get that, you stop calculating risk, and you start letting your mission to serve people outweigh your fear. So focus out first.

Alecia St. Germain 22:28
If you ever find yourself spinning and you don't know what to do and you want to put your feet on the ground, I want you to focus out on other people and who you serve because you can't be thinking about them and worrying about yourself at the same time. Like your life and their lives literally depend on it. Like there's a bear coming. So focus out, direction, connect with you, who you serve. Now focus on. I know you're so good at it. You're trying to do all of the things, but I got some questions actually on Hoova about how do I know what belongs to me? What is my responsibility? What belongs to other people? What can I let go of? Does anybody sometimes struggle with what you can really truly trust other people to do, or what? Maybe it feels like it's going to take longer, and you could do it faster yourself. Yeah, all of it, faster yourself. I'm going to give you five different categories that you can take every responsibility that's on your plate, everything that you do, every task, every idea. Who are my multi-passionate entrepreneurs? I do this with my clients all the time. They're like, "I have a new idea. I was like, "Let's pull out the capacity decision matrix and let's just see if you have the capacity. So, first, lead. Lead are the things that you are skilled at. You love doing it, or you're the only one who can do it. This is where you shine. You own this. Delegate. This is something that you are effective at. You can create results, but it's not the best use of your time, or you absolutely hate doing it. This goes to your team. You're going to hand it off, but you're going to lead them. Outsource. This is something you're not effective at. You don't create results in it. You're not very good at it, and it's actually too costly for you to grow into. Meaning, it would take too much time or money for you to get good at it, and it's not the best use of your time. This is expert work. This is where we hire it out to someone else, who then becomes responsible. For creating the results, not you. Now, I know some of you have been burned by delegating and outsourcing. How many of you have ever spent money on something or someone who was supposed to create some results for you and they didn't? Again, only the right side of the room. What is up? You guys got to get it together and talk to the left side because they got it going. But here's the thing I want you to know: between delegate and outsource, the reason that oftentimes it doesn't work out is one of two things. Either one, it's a mismatch in skill level versus expectation, or two, it's a lack of vetting, and a lot of times what happens is people try. And I'm listen. I'm going to give you some loving heart truth. You cannot hire cheap labor to do something you yourself cannot create a result in, because you don't know how to lead that person. You have to be able to do it yourself to be able to lead someone effectively. So outsource it, or even if you're going to use AI to do it, don't spend hours training the AI to do something that you don't know how to do because here's the thing about AI it is aggregating common knowledge and so on more than one occasion someone has said my AI said to do this, and I was like that's totally not what I would coach you to do because the reason that we have real people with real experience-it's taking fluff and theory and things that other people crap that other people have fed into the system, and it's feeding you crap sometimes. So if you know how to create a result, if you know how to train your AI, if you know how to do it, then great. But don't spend time doing that. Hire someone else who knows how to do it? Be willing to pay for the skill. Fair, cool. All right, I'm going to get off my soapbox, but I'm going to stay on the stage for a minute. Last one is grow.

Alecia St. Germain 27:12
This is something you are not skilled at yet, but it's where you're going, and this is your edge. This is the place where I want you to give yourself room to practice with grace, perfectionists. This is hard. This is something where many of you want to just emerge already perfect, and so because it's uncomfortable to grow, you keep putting grow off, and your capacity is capped. That's why you keep going to the same plateau. So you got to give yourself grace and say mistakes are part of the process. Now, I want you to do this for me. I want you to take a moment, and I want you to write down one thing that is on your plate that doesn't belong there, right now in your strategic plan. One thing that does not belong there. Every time you do it, you go. I shouldn't be doing this. Alecia, we do too. You can write as many as you want. So there's a fifth category. You notice I only gave you four. Yeah, there's a fifth category. It's called release, and release is sometimes things that we have to take off of our plate either permanently because they don't belong to us, like Allison, right? Or sometimes for the multi-passionate entrepreneur, it's just a park it. When I coach Strive, I tell them they can only do one new thing per quarter, and they hate me for it, but they love me for it later. And it's because you try to do so many new things at once, you use up too much brain power. So sometimes we just have to park things for just a little bit. So I'm going to give you at the end a full capacity decision guide. It's going to walk you through everything that is on your plate, and it'll help you decide what should stay, what goes, and who should be doing it. So, I'll give that to you in a little bit. All right. So, focus on is about really what goes on your plate, and if you are having a hard time taking something off your plate that isn't supposed to be yours, there's probably something in the background that makes it feel unsafe to do. So that's a leadership thing, and that is something that you can learn to build that capacity to set boundaries and hold other people accountable. And it's uncomfortable. How many of you don't really like to do the accountability piece, and you don't like to tell people when they're not doing their job, and you don't want to be the meanie, right? I get it. Or it just feels like it's not done your way, and if everything has to be done your way and nobody else around you has any room to grow or breathe, you're suffocating the people around you. I know it's a hard truth, but we accidentally do it because we're just trying to stay safe. It's not that they're wrong or you're wrong. Okay, now focus in. Focus in is the first place the doers. So many of you are. You already said so. So it's the first place that the doers will pitch out the window. Focus in is sleep, movement, relationships, the joys of your life, travel-all the things that fill your cup-and it is the first thing you cancel when things get busy, right? And here's Why? Because it is the one place that you don't have to inconvenience anyone else. It is the one place that you don't have to ask for permission. It is the one place where you don't have to feel like you are a burden or whatever other thing you make up. It's really easy to steal from ourselves because it's the one thing we think we own, and it is the one thing you cannot outsource. No one else can sleep for you. No one else can exercise for you. No one else can do these things that your human body needs. She has needs. I have like my human, and then I have like my higher self, and my higher self does not love to take care of my human. She thinks that she is kind of a pain in the butt. I was writing this speech. I'm not even kidding you.

Alecia St. Germain 31:54
I was writing this speech, and I realized that I was two years overdue for my gynecology exam, and I'm sitting here writing a speech about my best friend having cervical cancer. Like, if that doesn't tell you how easy it is to cancel on yourself again, I don't know what else is. If you keep borrowing from tomorrow's health, you are like playing Russian roulette, because if you don't have your physical health and you cannot enjoy the wealth and freedom that you have built for yourself, what is this for? Right. So take care of her. You cannot mindset yourself. You can mind your. You can mindset yourself right into exhaustion. But we were talking about how, like, we're all really good at mindset stuff. We're really good at getting ourselves up to the plate. We can talk ourselves into doing anything. Like, do it scared. Like, we got this. But what happens is you start to burn out. You start to make yourself so exhausted, and let me tell you, a tired mind is really difficult to manage. Your subconscious will start to run circles around you, and she will try to protect you. She's not trying to self sabotage you, but let me tell you, she is well intentioned and completely ruthless. And you will lose access to your judgment for good investments, and you will jump into things that maybe you wouldn't normally jump into. You will not have access to good decision making, so taking care of your body is the most important thing you can do. So this is the now advantage: focus out, focus on, focus in, direction, momentum, restoration. When you live this leadership rhythm, you will find that you hesitate less because you have access to clear mind, and it helps you make faster decisions. And because you are acting as though life is right now in this moment, you will live a more full, more joyful, more prosperous, more wealthy life. I have no doubt. Now, I told you that I would give you access to the capacity decision guide. This is going to help you walk through everything that is on your plate and help you decide where it goes, what category it goes into. Now, I was-I want you to imagine me. Let's see, two weeks before my due date, I am crawling underneath a mobile home. There are four. Other adults standing around watching me crawl under a mobile home, and I'm like on all fours because I'm like trying to keep my belly off of the ground, and I'm shutting off the water as water is pouring out from underneath the laundry room, because I had not built a business where I had the right people in place to help me, I delivered my daughter four days later. We can laugh like I can laugh about it now, but here's the thing: that was a capacity problem, and this guide is what I wish I had before I became a mother. And so I look at this, and this is the kind of wisdom that gets passed among generations. And so this is my passing of wisdom onto you, so that you don't make those same mistakes. If you are not a mother yet, if you are someone who is an empty nester, and you are doing it all, and you are not living your life the way that you wanted to because you're trying to make up for lost time. There is nobody in this room, I don't think, could benefit from having this wisdom. So you can grab that at consciousedge.com forward slash ic26 investorcon 26 ic 26. After you get that guide, go to Instagram, find me at Alecia St G. Send me a direct message with the word capacity, and I will send you my best episode on capacity from the podcast. Now I want to finish the story about Anne Marie. Anne Marie fought really hard, and she did it with all of the grace, and humor, and kindness that she was all the way until the end. I did drive that two hours up to see her. She passed away on january 5, 2021, and it was the same day that I officially started as a Strive mentor.

Alecia St. Germain 37:16
Some of you were there that day, and I showed up because it mattered to you, and as I sat next to her, I didn't question whether or not I had done it right. I didn't question if I said everything or did it in the perfect timing, because I knew I showed up fully, and I was so grateful for that time. And so I want you to think about right now: what is one thing you have been hesitating on? One conversation, one decision, one piece of your future self-something that you want to move forward on that you have been hesitating on. Write that down now, and I want you to take action on it because there is somebody here who can help you today. There is another woman in this room. There is a vendor outside who has the exact answer to the problem that you have been trying to solve, and I want you to take action on that today, not tomorrow, not next week, today, because life is right now. I want to share with you one last thing. I'm sitting next to my best friend Anne Marie, the last day I saw her, and I said, "Can you do me one favor? Can you promise me one thing? She said, "What's that? I said, "When you get to heaven, if you're allowed to send me a message, can you let me know if God really looks like Morgan Freeman, I did. She laughed too. Anne Marie, she must not be allowed to send me a message because I don't know. Anne Marie is the reason that I stand here in front of you fully every day. I show up fully every day, and I hope that she is the reason that you do too. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to the Conscious Edge podcast. Make sure you subscribe and take a moment to be kind and share this episode with someone you care about. Leave a review to help us bring more compassionate leaders building businesses and creating wealth to the table. And for show notes, head over to consciousedge.com/podcast. This podcast and the linked material. Are presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes, and should not be taken as personal or medical advice or any kind of mental health treatment. Please consult a medical or mental health professional if you feel you need such services. Please be advised that all investing and entrepreneurial endeavors involve risk and the use of the education and information on this podcast and linked materials is at the user's own risk.

Sound Advice FM 40:31
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The Conscious Edge and content posted by Alecia St. Germain and Jonathan Dugger is presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes and are not liable or responsible in any way for any negative results from users implementing the education or information in the podcast or website. This podcast and the linked materials are not to be taken as personal advice, medical advice, or any kind of mental health treatment. Please consult a medical or mental health professional if you feel you need such services. Please be advised that all investing and entrepreneurial endeavors involve risk, and the use of the information and link materials is at the users own risk.

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