Unlocking Your Potential: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Welcome back to another solo episode! Last week, I discussed four unhealthy goal habits many of us encounter. Today, I want to dive deeper into the underlying behaviors and feelings driving these habits, and more importantly, how we can address them.
My journey into understanding these behaviors started while I was training people to invest in real estate. I noticed most people couldn’t achieve long-term success. They were spending money and time to learn new strategies but wouldn’t or couldn’t implement them successfully or if they did, they ended up losing everything when the market shifted because they failed to change with it. The strategies or the market were not the problem. That’s when I realized that people were getting in their own way. It became clear that something deeper was at play.
Then, I stumbled upon an article about why we struggle to change. It highlighted how we often engage in behaviors that work against our goals and explained that self-sabotaging behavior was driven by underlying fears and feelings. I realized this revelation explained why so many real estate investors were failing to achieve their dreams of financial freedom.
This led me to the methodology I now use at The Conscious Edge and in my program, The Exponential Entrepreneur. The highly-researched and psychology-based process is called Immunity to ChangeTM, developed by 2 Havard professors, Robert Keegan and Lisa Lahey. Their research shows that our psychological immune system, designed to protect us, can actually hinder our progress by holding onto limiting beliefs formed from past experiences. The self-protecting belief often is helpful at some time in your life, but as you grow and change you hold onto it and it goes from being part of the solution, to part of the problem.
For example, you might avoid making offers in your business because you fear being seen as a sleazy salesperson. Or you might hesitate to be more visible online because you’re afraid of being targeted or rejected. These fears are rooted in what Keegan and Lahey call “big assumptions.” These are deep-seated beliefs about the world and our place in it, often formed in childhood and carried into adulthood.
The Immunity to ChangeTM methodology helps us uncover these big assumptions and question their validity. We can then start to rewire our brains, challenging these beliefs and adopting new ones that align with our goals. This isn’t about using sheer willpower or forcing ourselves to “do it scared.” Instead, we focus on small, manageable behavior changes that stretch us just enough to gather evidence that our big assumptions aren’t entirely true.
This approach allows us to pursue our goals from a place of curiosity and growth, rather than constant stress and fear. By understanding and acknowledging our self-protective mechanisms, we can thank them for their service and gently move past them.
One of my favorite parts of this process is the testing phase, where we explore the validity of our big assumptions through small, safe behavior changes. This not only helps us achieve our goals but also transforms our overall approach to challenges, making us more resilient and adaptive.
If you’re interested in exploring your own assumptions that may be stopping your progress, the first step is the free Immunity to ChangeTM mapping workshop. This will help you map out your goals, identify counterproductive behaviors, and uncover the fears driving them. It’s a process that can change how you approach your goals and your life.
If you’d like my help and support as you do this work, consider applying for The Exponential Entrepreneur program. We’re a supportive community dedicated to helping each other rewire our brains and achieve our goals in a holistic, sustainable way.
Resources:
- Immunity to Change Mapping Resource (Free)
- Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization (Book)
Sending you love and be well!
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